Ingalls Family To Eat Lightly, Get No Christmas Presents For Different Reason This Time

Walnut Grove, Minn.- A decision Charles Ingalls recently made has relegated his family to eating lightly for the foreseeable future with impacts possibly extending to the Christmas season. The Ingalls family, no stranger to times of poverty, is forced to tighten their belts for an unusual reason this time: Charles’s impulse purchase of a snow…

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Report: Matthew Has Shockingly Weak Memory

Colorado Springs, Co.-Recent reports indicate that Matthew Cooper’s memory is surprisingly bad. This revelation coincided with the train’s first arrival in Colorado Springs. Matthew’s younger brother, Brian, excitedly exclaimed that the train’s engineer was John. As Brian now recalls, this is when the cracks in Matthew’s facade appeared. “I can’t believe I even had to…

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Kyle Demands Reverend Admit Wrongdoing In Assessment Of Halloween Story

Colorado Springs, Co.- Recent reports from the small mountain town indicate that area bad boy Kyle is seeking validation from the Reverend regarding his storytelling skills. Recently, the Reverend-turned-schoolteacher directed the class to write Halloween stories. While he reprimanded Kyle for writing a story that is too dark, he commended Brian and suggested he seek…

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