Report: Dying Man Delivers Sick Burn
Walnut Grove, Minn.- Recent reports indicate that the only thing bigger than dying man Edgar…
Report: Man Asks Former Father-in-Law To Give Away Mother Of Girl Who Had Crush On Him
Colorado Springs, CO- Recent reports indicate that the wedding of Byron Sully and Michaela “Mike” Quinn is indeed the event of a lifetime, but perhaps not for the reasons you would expect: Sully has asked Loren Bray, his former father-in-law, to give Dr. Mike away. This means that in an exciting twist, it seems that…
Report: Dying Man Delivers Sick Burn
Walnut Grove, Minn.- Recent reports indicate that the only thing bigger than dying man Edgar Mills’ eyebrows is his ability to deliver a sick burn. Mills recently arrived in Walnut Grove and scammed residents with a land scheme. Upon his arrest, Mills sought out the services of new lawyer Adam Kendall, who proceeded to initially…
Report: Jonathan Garvey Wonders If He Is Landlord Now
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Jonathan Garvey’s recent purchase of the Ingalls property for mere pennies has him wondering if he is now technically a landlord. After the Ingalls family ran up a high bill of credit following the news that they were set to inherit Charles’ wealthy uncle’s estate only to learn that they would be left…
Harper Kids Can’t Believe Charles Just Dropped Them Like That
Harper Horse Farm-Recent reports indicate that Samantha and Thomas Harper are shocked that Charles Ingalls just dropped them suddenly. Charles recently took a trip to the Harper farm to purchase horses for a resident of Walnut Grove. While there, he learned that the Harper family was experiencing problems due that began after the tragic loss…
Mr. Whitehead Disappointed By Work Trip Location
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Recent reports indicate that Roger Whitehead, Esq., is disappointed that his work has brought him to Walnut Grove twice. “This town, it’s not very exciting now is it?” Mr. Whitehead muses. “When I first was sent here to deliver the news to the Ingalls of their inheritance, I felt a mild anticipation. I…
Now that the dust has settled with the recent, shall we say, swindlings in town lately, I wanted to clear up one very important point. Now, it’s been noted how helpful I was in the train station in Denver, pretending to choke on the strudel to create enough of a distraction to get the townsfolk’s…
Editorial: Uprooting My Family In Response To Problems Is My Love Language
Burr Oak, Iowa-Happy Valentine’s Day! In honor of this day, I thought I would give some advice on something that we all need to understand in order to make relationships work: love languages. Understanding your spouse’s love language is key to making your marriage strong. Just take my marriage, for example. Caroline understands my love…
Breaking: Jonathan Smith Reacts to Michael Landon’s Work
Los Angeles Hotel Room– After earlier pursuing the stars on the Hollywood walk of fame and hearing of Michael Landon for the first time, Jonathan Smith finally decided to check out his work. “You know, it’s a little remarkable I hadn’t heard of him considering how many years he’s been on TV,” Jonathan remarked. “Yeah,…
Breaking News: Garveys Resume Grieving
Walnut Grove, Minn.– After keeping busy following a shocking turn of events, the Garveys have announced that they are ready to grieve again. Recently deciding to pick up and move to Sleepy Eye, Jonathan and Andrew Garvey have decided that a complete change is in order to cope with the loss of their wife and…
There Goes Alice Broadcasting Grades Again
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Sources indicate that Alice Garvey, former Walnut Grove schoolteacher and mother to Andrew Garvey, has yet again broadcast information pertaining to academic performance without regard to preserving the integrity of individual privacy when she shared her son’s grades with her mother while others sat in the room listening. “Andrew has three A’s, two…
