Big City Man Becomes Benefactor
Winoka, Dakota Territory–Sources indicates that newly minted Big City Man Charles Ingalls has eagerly become…
Big City Man Becomes Benefactor
Winoka, Dakota Territory–Sources indicates that newly minted Big City Man Charles Ingalls has eagerly become a benefactor to a local stray boy. Over breakfast on a recent morning, Charles talked his new young friend Albert, who he has known for a paltry amount of time, into attending school for a quarter a week. The street…
Ingalls Throw Party With No Apparent Motive
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Reports indicate that the Ingalls family recently threw a party despite having no obvious motive. Sources indicate that they attended a Sunday afternoon function at the Ingalls home expecting there to be some reason for the party, only to find once they attended that no such reason existed. “It is rare that the…
Woman Unwilling To Allow Hanky Panky At Hurdy Gurdy Willing To Use Hurdy Gurdy To Deceive Army
Colorado Springs, Co.-Recent reports indicate that a woman who is unwilling to allow hanky panky at her hurdy gurdy will nevertheless use the hurdy gurdy to deceive George Armstrong Custer and his troops. Although some residents, including the Reverend, opposed the opening of the hurdy gurdy, Miss Olive Davis insisted that there are many respectable…
Report: Sully Survives Three Civil War-Centric Visits Without Once Mentioning He Was In That War
Colorado Springs, Co.-Residents of Colorado Springs reveal that the most surprising thing about Byron Sully’s army service is that he made it through three notably Civil War-centric visitors without once mentioning that he too had been in the war. “At first I was so engaged in getting Sully free and keeping him alive that I…
An Interview With Wolf
Colorado Springs, Co.-There’s more that stands out about Byron Sully than his attire, unconventional ways, and beautiful hair, including his faithful and constant companion, Wolf. We sat down with Wolf to get the scoop on how he’s handling changes as he adapts to family life and what life with Sully is really like. Note: We…
Editorial: If I Had Known She Was Going To Be Burnt To A Crisp, I Would Have Been Nicer
You know, I’m not really one for writing, putting my words on paper. And you know I don’t like talking about feelings, but I figure I can make an exception so’s you don’t make the same mistake I did. Yep, that’s right–I’m admitting I made a mistake, which bystanders to my marriage might recall I…
Mark Gordon Sometimes Misses Days Where He Could Binge Beer, TV
1977 Ford LTD II– Driving around in his beat up car waiting for Jonathan Smith to receive word on the latest assignment, Mark Gordon reminisces about the old days and wishes he could have just a day here and there to do things like sit around drinking beer and watching TV. Mark admits that it…
Report: Charles Ingalls Assures Stranger He Will Be Great Father
Walnut Grove, Minn.- Recent reports indicate that Laura Ingalls’ recent discovery of notes in bottles in a nearby creek as well as an abandoned baby have set in motion a series of events that led Charles Ingalls to declare his confidence that a boy he just met will be a great father. Although Charles Ingalls…
Report: Dr. Mike Can’t Wait To See What Subject She’ll Instantly Master Next
Colorado Springs, Co.-Recent reports indicate that Dr. Michaela Quinn’s mastery of baseball after reading the rule book once have her looking forward to the next subject she will master after reading about it briefly. “I always knew I could do complicated medical procedures after just reading a chapter or an article or so,” Dr. Mike…
Report: Miss Beadle Pleased Student Knows Where Mankato Is
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Miss Beadle is pleased to learn that one of her students knows where Mankato is located. Reports indicate that newly relocated resident, Samantha “Sam” Higgins, came from Mankato. When she aggressively suggested that new schoolmate Jimmy Hill “toss a few” before school started and Jimmy asked her where she was from, he was…
