Report: Miss Beadle Pleased Student Knows Where Mankato Is
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Miss Beadle is pleased to learn that one of her students knows where…
Report: Dr. Mike Can’t Wait To See What Subject She’ll Instantly Master Next
Colorado Springs, Co.-Recent reports indicate that Dr. Michaela Quinn’s mastery of baseball after reading the rule book once have her looking forward to the next subject she will master after reading about it briefly. “I always knew I could do complicated medical procedures after just reading a chapter or an article or so,” Dr. Mike…
Report: Miss Beadle Pleased Student Knows Where Mankato Is
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Miss Beadle is pleased to learn that one of her students knows where Mankato is located. Reports indicate that newly relocated resident, Samantha “Sam” Higgins, came from Mankato. When she aggressively suggested that new schoolmate Jimmy Hill “toss a few” before school started and Jimmy asked her where she was from, he was…
Man Who Gambled A Few Times Loves Telling People He Doesn’t Gamble Anymore
Colorado Springs, Co.-The recent excitement of a professional boxer in town has given Matthew Cooper the opportunity to remind people he no longer gambles. “I want to be known for more than just being the former sheriff,” Matthew comments. “I want people to remember that I am a former gambler, too.” Although Matthew gambled only…
Woman Finally Able To Spend Time With Husband Shot
Colorado Springs, Co.-Recent reports indicate that Dr. Michaela Quinn barely had time to spend time with her recently returned husband when she was shot. “No matter what, something always seems to get in the way,” Michaela “Mike” Quinn reports. “Why, just when you think things are about to settle down, something else comes along to…
Future Lawyer Abandons Medical Debt To Take Test
Minneapolis, Minn.-Recent reports indicate that future lawyer Adam Kendall has skipped out on a medical bill to take a test. After ending up in the hospital when a group of three men jumped him while he waited at a depot, Adam ended up waking up in the hospital the next morning. Despite medical advice, Adam…
Area Boy Struggles With Math, Baseball
Colorado Springs, CO.-Sources reveal that area teenager Jared McAllister struggles with both math and baseball. The recent arrival of the American All-Stars, a baseball team that travels the country to play amateur teams in hopes of taking advantage of their unlikeliness to read the fine print to make a few bucks, has revealed not only…
Breaking: Almanzo Realizes He’s A Bun Guy
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Recent reports indicate that Almanzo Wilder, area feed and seed man and Laura Ingalls’ crush, has realized that he is a bun guy. “I always thought Beth was a cute kid,” Almanzo shares with The Prairie Review, “but I just thought of her like that–just a kid in braids, you know. It wasn’t…
Report: Man Asks Former Father-in-Law To Give Away Mother Of Girl Who Had Crush On Him
Colorado Springs, CO- Recent reports indicate that the wedding of Byron Sully and Michaela “Mike” Quinn is indeed the event of a lifetime, but perhaps not for the reasons you would expect: Sully has asked Loren Bray, his former father-in-law, to give Dr. Mike away. This means that in an exciting twist, it seems that…
Report: Dying Man Delivers Sick Burn
Walnut Grove, Minn.- Recent reports indicate that the only thing bigger than dying man Edgar Mills’ eyebrows is his ability to deliver a sick burn. Mills recently arrived in Walnut Grove and scammed residents with a land scheme. Upon his arrest, Mills sought out the services of new lawyer Adam Kendall, who proceeded to initially…
Report: Jonathan Garvey Wonders If He Is Landlord Now
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Jonathan Garvey’s recent purchase of the Ingalls property for mere pennies has him wondering if he is now technically a landlord. After the Ingalls family ran up a high bill of credit following the news that they were set to inherit Charles’ wealthy uncle’s estate only to learn that they would be left…
