Report: Charles Doing Something With A Big Load Right Now
Walnut Grove, Minn.- Area sources confirm that Charles Ingalls is busy doing something with a…
Kyle Demands Reverend Admit Wrongdoing In Assessment Of Halloween Story
Colorado Springs, Co.- Recent reports from the small mountain town indicate that area bad boy Kyle is seeking validation from the Reverend regarding his storytelling skills. Recently, the Reverend-turned-schoolteacher directed the class to write Halloween stories. While he reprimanded Kyle for writing a story that is too dark, he commended Brian and suggested he seek…
Report: Charles Doing Something With A Big Load Right Now
Walnut Grove, Minn.- Area sources confirm that Charles Ingalls is busy doing something with a load right now. Whether it is packing up a load, delivering a load, or taking inventory of a load upon delivery, it seems that Charles is constantly working on a load in some form. “It’s like his whole life revolves…
Report: Dr. Mike Shocked By How Fast Hair Goes Gray
Colorado Springs, Co.-In a surprising moment of vulnerability, Dr. Michaela “Mike” Quinn has revealed that the most distressing part of her glimpse into Christmas future was not that she was visited by a ghost, nor was it that she didn’t have answers on who her husband would be or why Matthew has children but is…
Report: Charles Wishes Man Wielding Shotgun Hadn’t Interrupted Dinner On Stormy Night
Walnut Grove, Minn.- Recent reports indicate that Charles Ingalls wishes that a man who interrupted the Ingalls family dinner by kicking open the door and wielding a shotgun had waited for a clear night to do so. “In this family, you never know what might happen when you’re just having an ordinary family dinner,” Charles…
Editorial: I’m Sure There’s A Reason Charles Left My Door Open–I’d Just Like To Know What It Is
Oh, hi there. Excuse me for putting all this stuff out on my porch, but you see, everything got just plumb soaked the other night. You see, it wasn’t even me that left it open. In fact, I wasn’t here at all, but I was stuck at dinner thanks to this storm. Well, wouldn’t you…
Breaking: Adam Makes, Forgets Friend Quickly
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Recent news from the quiet Minnesota town indicates that Charles Ingalls is pleased that he witnessed his son-in-law, Adam Kendall, making a fast friend and then never speaking of that friend again. “It’s what makes the friend fast, you know,” Charles comments. “Sometimes someone goes from stranger to best friend faster than you…
Editorial: What Am I Expected To Do With This Discarded Bloody Rag?
Walnut Grove, Minn.-I’m the stagecoach driver that just had the experience of dropping Charles Ingalls and his son off in front of the hotel in Walnut Grove, and let me tell you, this was not the experience I was expecting. I had heard of the Ingalls family before. Who hasn’t heard of Charles Ingalls? The…
Lars Hansen Discovers Church Contest Loophole
Walnut Grove-In a recent brazen display of ingenuity, town founder Lars Hansen has discovered a loophole to allowing work on Sunday. “Ja, all you have to do is say it is church contest,” Lars chuckles. It seems that Lars has long been searching for an acceptable way to get some work done ona Sunday. After…
Mercantile Struggles To Keep Up With Charles’ Nighttime Coffee Needs
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Sources indicate that the Olesons are having problems keeping up with the nighttime coffee needs of Charles Ingalls. Routinely seen drinking copious amounts of coffee before bedtime, Charles Ingalls is routinely purchasing so much coffee that the proprietors of the Mercantile are having problems keeping pace with the man. “It’s difficult when you…
Report: Charles Would Rather Give In To Old Lady Than Please Family; Elderly Man Loves Blue Ribbon
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Sources who attended the recent Founder’s Day Celebration confirm that Charles Ingalls would rather give in to a crotchety old man than impress his family. Although it disappointed Laura Ingalls, Jim Tyler, former Bull of the Woods, won a woodchopping contest when Charles chose to use his dull axe after Jim’s wife plead…
