Walnut Grove, Minn.-Reports indicate that the Ingalls family recently threw a party despite having no obvious motive.
Sources indicate that they attended a Sunday afternoon function at the Ingalls home expecting there to be some reason for the party, only to find once they attended that no such reason existed.
“It is rare that the Ingalls just have these parties,” one attendee indicated. “Last I can recall, they had a party when Charles made everyone switch to corn, so that was a clear motive. I know this family is poor, so for them to just throw a party when they’re not trying to pitch anything to us? It is surprising to say the least.”
Charles Ingalls insists that a motive is not needed to gather with people who will be significant for only a short period of time and points out that most of the people at the corn persuasion gathering are now long gone, making this the perfect time to throw a party with attendees who will come and go and surely as the wind will blow.
Almanzo Wilder, first time attendee at an Ingalls affair, comments that he is glad for the opportunity.
“Well, I’m just making it my goal to court every young lady that lives in this town,” Almanzo shares. “This was just the perfect excuse to bring a date that no one has ever seen before and will probably never see again.”
Hooligan Tod Dortmunder hated the party initially, but found a literal silver lining when he found his way into the home to steal Charles Ingalls’ watch.
“These farmers, they sure are dumb,” Tod comments. “And Laura talks way too much, but it gave me the perfect excuse to slip into the house and steal that watch. The house is tiny, so it only took about two seconds to find.”
At press time, attendees speculated on the possibility that the Ingalls were playing the long game and threw the party as a way to trap Tod Brewster in a situation where he would have to succumb to Charles’ Farm Labor Reform Camp.
