Anyone who knows me knows that I didn’t want Half Pint getting married before she was 18 years old. I really protested her attraction to Almanzo. Never mind that I let Mary get engaged when she was thirteen and she actually got married when she was sixteen. Inconsistent? Maybe, but I don’t owe you an…
Walnut Grove, Minn.- Residents have recently reported their disappointment that Albert’s morphine addiction totally overshadowed everything else that had happened in the town since Charles Ingalls departed mere months ago. Since the departure of the Ingalls family, a number of astonishing events have happened that have touched almost every citizen in some way. Remarkably, the…
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Reports indicate that former Walnut Grove resident Albert Ingalls has returned to the town to await his death. Of note is the absence of most of the rest of the family. “When Albert said he wanted to return to Walnut Grove after his diagnosis, I tried to talk him into spending time with…
Walnut Grove, Minn.-The Ingalls family reports that today has just been your typical day around the family dinner table. “Dinner starts off pretty normal and stayed that way,” patriarch Charles indicates. “We all sat around the dinner table eating and Albert asks questions about getting married at fourteen. You know, the kind of talk you…
Walnut Grove, Minn.- This small, tight-knit farming community just became a little more tight-knit. In an unlikely pairing, nine year old Laura Ingalls has befriended Ebenezer Sprague, a newly arrived middle-aged banker. Reports indicate that Laura even calls Ebenezer her best friend. “That is correct, she did call him her best friend,” Charles Ingalls, father…
Phoenix, Ariz.-Recent reports indicate that a woman who lied to her family about getting married is embarrassed by a man who does bird calls. Eliza Jane Wilder, older sister of Almanzo Wilder and Laura Ingalls Wilder’s sister-in-law, lied approximately just one year ago about getting married to Harve Miller. While her intentions were arguably good,…
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Sources report that business operations have temporarily ceased in Walnut Grove while everyone helps Charles Ingalls stack grain. Charles, a man who has lived in Walnut Grove for mere weeks, is already proving to be the most popular man in town as everyone stops what they are doing to assist the broken-ribbed man…
Walnut Grove, Minn.- Recent reports indicate that Charles and Caroline Ingalls have returned to Walnut Grove, a small town in which they experienced many tragedies, to escape their everyday lives in their new home of Burr Oak, Iowa. Hardworking Charles, small town farmer turned big city salesman, recently received the reward of an extended vacation…
Minneapolis, Minn.-Following Eliza Jane’s colossal embarrassment with Harve Miller and her subsequent relocation, it seems that she has been wondering what Albert has been up to these days. “I’ll never forget our dance at the church social,” Eliza Jane gushed. “He was just so very polite and sweet. Plus I was so flattered that he…
Redwood, Minn.- Recent reports from the Redwood County Fair indicate that the Ingalls family brought their family dog, Bandit, to the festivities and proceeded to let their dog roam unsupervised for the entire day. It apparently didn’t occur to the family, whose behavior is usually considered more or less stable, that the temporary loss of…
