Walnut Grove, Minn.– Recent reports from the farming community indicate that Reverend Alden proudly presided over a church service in which residents decided to blow the town up with John Carter’s dynamite.
“I’ve learned one thing preaching in this town for all these years, and that’s that you just never know what these folks will decide to get into during a church service,” Reverend Alden comments.
While some have found the behavior of the townsfolk too rash for a church service, others recognize that they really are just following Reverend Alden’s example, as he himself can be a real loose cannon.
“Let’s remember that this all started in a church service,” John Carter reminds us. “Reverend Alden is the one who let a complete stranger speak at the end of a service that one day, and that’s what got this all started. So instead of marveling at our impetuousness, maybe we ought to be commended–we were just reacting to a situation that Reverend Alden let unfold during church in the first place.”
After Reverend Alden let an unknown person speak to the congregation at the conclusion of services, things quickly went downhill. Once the townsfolk learned that they were losing their land to the railroad, they decided to take the only reasonable course: blow the town up.
“I was just so proud of Beth,” Almanzo Wilder comments. “To have just finished another one of Reverend Alden’s two minute sermons and then to roll right into announcing that she smashed windows, well, I was proud. She really laid the groundwork for John Carter to announce that he had all that dynamite. It’s like I always say–just another church service in Walnut Grove.”
Following John Carter’s suggestion of blowing the town up with dynamite that he arguably stole by not delivering it as intended, Reverend Alden beamed with pride.
“Why, I smile now just thinking about it,” Alden confirms. “To have spent years with this community, to see them coming together, deciding on a path of destruction as a unit. It is truly a blessing.”
Charles Ingalls, who is currently visiting his former hometown with wife Caroline, is relieved to see that some things never change.
“It’s just great to see this,” Charles declares. “It’s just so nice to see that even after being away and going through tragedy after tragedy in another city, you can come back home and pick right up and not miss a beat. For me to be here while they decide in church to blow up the town, well it’s just really something. I’m glad we decided to spend my vacation here. This kind of closeness and unity–well, it’s just not something you see in the city.”
At press time, the townsfolk were wondering why that woman that Reverend Alden married that one time was not accompanying him at the blowing up of the town, or to any event for that matter.
