Walnut Grove, Minn.-In a shocking revelation, residents of Walnut Grove admit that the lack of alert system at the blind school provides a source of entertainment. “The first time it hit me that it could be fun to sneak up on blind people was that time I dropped Mary off at the blind school in…
Walnut Grove, Minn.– In light of the sensationalism surrounding the Oscars altercation between Will Smith and Chris Rock, Almanzo Wilder would like to remind everyone that he has punched a child not only once, but twice. “Well, sure, it’s not something I usually brag about, but I can’t believe people brush it under the rug…
Walnut Grove, Minn.-The Ingalls are surprised by Laura’s revelation of her remembrance book at the recent family Thanksgiving gathering. It seems that despite frequent use of phrases such as “If I had a remembrance book” and “I would write about,” Laura in fact had a remembrance book and did write about everything. “Sure as shootin’…
Walnut Grove, Minn.–Merely months after the town of Walnut Grove learned of Annabelle, sister of Nels Oleson who plays the fat lady for a circus, the woman has once again been pushed to the wayside and seemingly forgotten by Nels. As Nellie Oleson lay distraught on her bed over the impending departure of Percival Dalton,…
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Recent reports confirm that Charles Ingalls, freshly returned to his humble abode after a visit to Milwaukee, had yet another horrible experience while spending time in a city. Charles and his wife, Caroline, recently went to Milwaukee, where Charles attended a Grange convention while Caroline excitedly prepared for their class reunion. What appeared…
Sleepy Eye, Minn.-Jonathan Garvey and Charles Ingalls of Walnut Grove, Minnesota, recently entered a restaurant in Sleepy Eye where sources reveal that any scant trace of knowledge the two men possessed about living in a society seemed to flee. Shortly after entering the establishment, a fine French eatery that The Prairie Review is surprised even…
Chicago, Ill.–Attendees of a recent cotillion in the city have reported sightings of a girl who wore a clearly outdated dress to the occasion. Mary Ingalls, the until recently fiancée of John Sanderson, Jr., arrived in Chicago–”unexpectedly,” John Jr. would have you know–to attend the cotillion with John while her father, Charles Ingalls, delivered stirring…
Walnut Grove, Minn.– In a surprising bout of unexpected good news, it seems that the children of Walnut Grove have all survived the day despite spending it at the schoolhouse under the tutelage of Miss Beadle. The same teacher who has doled out assignments such as describing what wild animal each child would most like…
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Sources reveal that in the same town in which inhabitants frequently traverse several miles a day by foot or otherwise engage in manual labor, not one person can be bothered to take down an outdated sign. It seems that the site of the blacksmith shop still sports a sign indicating that Irv Hartwig…
Walnut Grove, Minn.- Recent events in Walnut Grove have indicated that the old adage “boys will be boys” holds true even in the wake of unspeakable tragedy. Walnut Grove’s new girl, Penelope, has caught the eye of local hooligan Albert Ingalls. Unfortunately for Albert, however, Penelope has eyes for only Andrew Garvey. As Albert works…
