Walnut Grove, Minn.-Miss Beadle totally made out with a man during the lunch break, students report. Mary Ingalls sat outside the school house despondent over the state of her eyesight when a man arrived and flirted with the child. After bestowing a flower upon Mary, the man entered the school house where Mary followed to…
Minneapolis, Minn.-Charles Ingalls, Hero Township’s representative for the Grange, has expressed disappointment that yet another convention is tainted with drama. It seems that his son, Albert, tried to steal a train ride to Minneapolis to meet a girl he had been writing for his school assignment. As if his son committing a crime that forced…
Walnut Grove, Minn.-It has recently become apparent through an act of smoking in bed that Charles Ingalls learned nothing in the recent tragedy that killed his grandson and best friend’s wife. Caroline Ingalls, wife of the reckless smoker, reported that as early as several weeks after the fire that killed their grandchild, Charles was smoking…
Walnut Grove, Minn.– Recent reports indicate that a local woman has had a change of life. Caroline Ingalls, wife of the upstanding and dependable Charles, has embarked upon the phase of life that all women face eventually: she is stealing people’s thunder. “Well, now that Caroline is well into middle age, it’s not surprising,” Doc…
Hey, we know it’s tough out there when you’re looking for a job. Sometimes the job application process seems endless and to no avail, leading you to wonder if it’s all been a waste of time. I decided to write a list of tips to help you land that job because I’m Charles Ingalls and…
Walnut Grove, Minn.– Recent reports indicate that Nels Oleson feels pangs of regret after offering additional cuts of glass to Charles Ingalls on an as-needed basis. While Nels originally found Charles’ desire to perform an upgrade on the Little House commendable, he now understands that some people maybe just aren’t meant to have nice things….
Burr Oak, Iowa- Recent reports indicate that Charles Ingalls is giving the city too much credit in the development of the issues recently displayed by his son, Albert. Despite the fact that Albert met the Ingalls while living under stairs in the streets of Winoka following his tortured time at an orphanage, Charles laments the…
Walnut Grove, Minn.-The recent tragic passing of Jack, beloved dog of the Ingalls family, has been somewhat eased by Charles Ingalls’ smooth chest, sources report. After dying unexpectedly following a series of misunderstandings with the increasingly independent Laura Ingalls, the dog was discovered by Laura lying motionless in the barn. When Laura’s yelling failed to…
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Newly surfaced evidence suggests that Charles Ingalls can add songwriter to his resume. The song, “No Sugar Tonight” by Canada’s The Guess Who may in fact be indebted to Charles Ingalls for the lyrics. Remains of lyrical scribblings were recently unearthed in the soddy, or as Charles apparently liked to call it, his…
Walnut Grove, Minn.- In a surprising turn of recent events, Charles Ingalls admits that one day he put a little something special in his pipe and as a result finally understood his daughter, Carrie. Members of the Walnut Grove community have long been coasting their way through Carrie interactions with a nod, a smile, or…
