Walnut Grove, Minn.- This small, tight-knit farming community just became a little more tight-knit. In an unlikely pairing, nine year old Laura Ingalls has befriended Ebenezer Sprague, a newly arrived middle-aged banker. Reports indicate that Laura even calls Ebenezer her best friend. “That is correct, she did call him her best friend,” Charles Ingalls, father…
Phoenix, Ariz.-Recent reports indicate that a woman who lied to her family about getting married is embarrassed by a man who does bird calls. Eliza Jane Wilder, older sister of Almanzo Wilder and Laura Ingalls Wilder’s sister-in-law, lied approximately just one year ago about getting married to Harve Miller. While her intentions were arguably good,…
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Sources report that business operations have temporarily ceased in Walnut Grove while everyone helps Charles Ingalls stack grain. Charles, a man who has lived in Walnut Grove for mere weeks, is already proving to be the most popular man in town as everyone stops what they are doing to assist the broken-ribbed man…
Walnut Grove, Minn.- Recent reports indicate that Charles and Caroline Ingalls have returned to Walnut Grove, a small town in which they experienced many tragedies, to escape their everyday lives in their new home of Burr Oak, Iowa. Hardworking Charles, small town farmer turned big city salesman, recently received the reward of an extended vacation…
Minneapolis, Minn.-Following Eliza Jane’s colossal embarrassment with Harve Miller and her subsequent relocation, it seems that she has been wondering what Albert has been up to these days. “I’ll never forget our dance at the church social,” Eliza Jane gushed. “He was just so very polite and sweet. Plus I was so flattered that he…
Redwood, Minn.- Recent reports from the Redwood County Fair indicate that the Ingalls family brought their family dog, Bandit, to the festivities and proceeded to let their dog roam unsupervised for the entire day. It apparently didn’t occur to the family, whose behavior is usually considered more or less stable, that the temporary loss of…
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Recent reports following a prank Laura Ingalls executed have townsfolk in Walnut Grove noticing that the girl apparently cares little for the environment. The prank involved making cinnamon chicken for Laura’s new crush, Almanzo Wilder, and Nellie Oleson. Harriet Oleson arranged a date between the two and Laura jumped at the chance to…
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Miss Beadle totally made out with a man during the lunch break, students report. Mary Ingalls sat outside the school house despondent over the state of her eyesight when a man arrived and flirted with the child. After bestowing a flower upon Mary, the man entered the school house where Mary followed to…
Walnut Grove, Minn.-Nellie’s Restaurant, long known for its subpar service, is unveiling a new slogan this week: “Where else are you going to go?” “We’re just really excited because this slogan encapsulates the restaurant so well,” Nels Oleson commented. “Nellie has always been a terror at this place. Even after Percival straightened her out a…
Minneapolis, Minn.-Charles Ingalls, Hero Township’s representative for the Grange, has expressed disappointment that yet another convention is tainted with drama. It seems that his son, Albert, tried to steal a train ride to Minneapolis to meet a girl he had been writing for his school assignment. As if his son committing a crime that forced…
